I love the way my eldest son is able to ‘chillax’. I particularly appreciate the care he takes in setting things up with a comfy beanbag or chair, probably a drink and possibly a snack if he’s allowed, so he can have maximum pleasure and enjoy ‘his’ time.002

I am also envious. I can see how well he knows what he wants, takes care of his needs and especially his ability to then actually switch off and relax. As an ex-boarder none of these things are easy for me. I learned to ignore my body and its needs, making do with what was available and hide what I might want. I was kept busy with a full timetable so I could not miss home too much, and quickly extended this with even more music practice. So I didn’t learn the pleasures of doing nothing and down-time, instead feeling uncomfortable and at sea when the opportunity presented itself.

Realising the links to my habits and behaviour has helped me to change things and I am learning. Learning to listen to myself, trust my body and to relax. Maybe in time I will even be able to ‘chillax’, but I might be stepping into ’embarrassing mum’ territory 😉

What do you envy in others? Is there a way to learn it or give it to yourself?